


Carmilla: Through the Eyes of Every Other Girl Who Isn't Laura Hollis

by almostalwaysahermit



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4810088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostalwaysahermit/pseuds/almostalwaysahermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just an attempt to describe the Carmilla Karnstein experience of every girl who isn't lucky enough to be Laura Hollis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carmilla: Through the Eyes of Every Other Girl Who Isn't Laura Hollis

You wait for something more after she said “On my way,” but the line is dead now and you’re sitting here with your phone against your cheek, slowly bringing it down to the corner of your mouth to mutter whatever it is that you hoped she’d say: _“I can’t wait.”_

You lean back on your swivel chair and spin once, viewing your dorm room in the quick blur. The door immediately shifts to your left, your coat rack goes out of view and the small kitchen was there but now it’s gone and you see your bed for a split-second but now all you see is your roommate’s empty bed. You take one more spin, hoping to get some comfort out of it, a distraction from having to wait for her again in this dorm room you share with a stranger, where she has taken you time and time again with your permission. You spin on your chair and it reminds you of how she makes your head spin when she cups your cheek and pulls you in close to kiss you. You always moan when she does this and it seems to drive her crazy, as if she can’t get enough of you. She makes quick work of your clothes and her own and both of you land on your bed or your roommate’s. It doesn’t matter to her which one and neither does it to you. You take in her scent, the one you can’t put a finger on, that makes you think of freshly cut grass and soil that’s moist after the rain and the feeling after taking something you’re not supposed to.

You breathe in deep at the thought. You place a hand on your chest and clutch at the collar of your top, taking in more air to calm yourself down. You’ve been at this with her for weeks, yes, but you know it doesn’t amount to anything. She’s made that clear the first time, when she didn’t even bother to look at you as she got up from your bed and got dressed while you stared at her back bathed in too-early morning sunshine, willing to raise your arm to reach out to her and tell her to stay. But she was gone as soon as you thought the thought.

The door creaks open and it breaks you out of your trance. You stare up at it and you see her head poking from outside to check if you’re inside. You give her a small wave and a smile that took what little hope there was inside you to muster. She doesn’t notice you struggle, of course, and instead takes your gesture as a signal for her to come in and close the door. She locks it and drops her bag next to your coat rack.

Next thing you know she’s right in front of you and you’re on your feet, meeting her lips while she holds you steadily by the waist. You don’t want to fall for it but your head is spinning and you want her. The thought makes you feel sick but you swallow it down and you keep kissing her, your hands now tangled in her hair as you inch back to pull both of you toward your bed. She doesn’t budge and she keeps you still, keeping the weight of her hands on your waist to keep you grounded to the floor. You try to look into her eyes to question the action but she isn’t looking. She never does look into your eyes. Sometimes she scans your face but she never meets your eyes. She never asks you anything and you never complained. You don’t even dare to start now as she pushes you flush against the desk behind you. You hear something fall and before you can turn your head to look she’s all over you again. She pulls your top over your head, throws it aside and undresses herself next, quirking an eyebrow at you as if to say “What’s taking you so long to get naked?” You respond anyway, stepping out of every article of clothing you have on, hoping she’d marvel at how preciously fragile you are in the nude, hoping  that she’d think she’s lucky she gets to have you like this.

“Carmilla,” you say, but she doesn’t hear you as her lips meet yours once more and that’s all you sense. You barely feel her hands on your body, running down your sides and behind to cup your buttocks. You barely feel her lips leave yours as she lowers herself to meet your aching need, her tongue darting out of her mouth to run along the length of your sex. You run your fingers through her hair out of habit, your eyes fixed on how she uses her mouth to pleasure you. You let a moan out, expressing in all honesty how she’s making you feel – needy and impatient and _close_. Suddenly, you don’t want to finish. You want her to stand up and just kiss you. You want her to kiss you like she’s never going to get another chance. You want her to kiss you like she’s needy and impatient and _in love_. You want her to tell you she’s in love with you. You want her to—

But you finish anyway. Your body breaks out in tremors as she slips out from in between your legs and leaves you to hold on to the side of the desk. You grip it hard, wishing it was her you were holding, wishing she was smirking against your ear right now in teasing victory, nipping against it lovingly while you ride out your climax. And the list goes on.

You clear your throat in between your panting and see her standing by your bed with her clothes already gathered in her arms. You swallow the lump in your throat and will yourself to walk up to her. _Just tell her to stay,_ you think. You take a step; she turns around and starts to dress. You take a few more steps, purposely trying to ignore that she’s ignoring you. You reach out and place your palm flat on her back. She winces as if you’ve burned her, but you don’t stop. You take one more step closer and wrap your arms around her from behind. You feel her sigh heavily before she shrugs out of your hold. “Carmilla,” you start to say, but she clearly doesn’t want to hear it.

She grabs her bag from the floor, unlocks your door and starts to step out.

“Carmilla,” you call out again, your body now scorching from embarrassment and rejection and this ever-persistent yearning for the girl who’s now halfway gone. You rush to the door in another attempt to reach her, but she closes it partly, leaving only her head poking out from outside just like when she came. “I’ll see you around,” she tells you. You’re in the middle of formulating a reply when she disappears.

You hold your breath, hoping against all hope that she’ll come back to tell you she loves you, but she’s still gone.

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was previously posted on my tumblr: almostalwaysahermit.tumblr.com


End file.
